Every girl has issues with who they are, how they look, and how people perceive them. Mine started during my freshman year when I really started paying attention to how guys and girls acted around each other. I never really paid much attention to guys in middle school, but I really found myself over the summer before high school started. I was really confident about who I was and talking to guys came naturally to me. Then I met the boy who was able to tear down everything that I'd built up for myself by simply looking at me.
I couldn't think straight when he touched me. I couldn't talk right when I knew that he was looking at me. He always looked me directly in the eye and I couldn't help but look back and I was gone. But he made me cry more than he made me laugh. I found myself needing to impress him. I only had a good day when he talked to me. We fought constantly about everything, but all he had to say was, Baby girl, I'm sorry. How could I not believe him? He was mean to me all the time and it wore away at my self esteem. I needed him all the time. I noticed when he was around and when he wasn't, who he talked to and who he didn't. I wasn't obsessed, but I was definitely addicted.
And then, after almost ten months of putting up with him, I decided that I was done. We had a huge fight about it because he said "I need you," "I love you," "please don't go." I almost gave in. Almost. But I was sick and tired of him treating me like he did and making me feel like I was only attractive when he said I was. He controlled me, and a girl doesn't need that.
This blog is as much for me as it is for everyone who's reading it. I want to write at least one blog a week, but we'll see. I still struggle with my image and who I am and how I look, but I hope that by accenting the beautiful things about myself and showing other people how to do the same will bring us all one step closer to accepting ourselves.
We're all in this together.
xoxo,
Lexie
weheartit.com
xoxo,
Lexie
weheartit.com
No comments:
Post a Comment