Things That Come From The Heart Are Easy To Share

First, thank you, favorite teacher, for giving me my title. :)

Second, I'm in the process of rereading a fabulous book which as become (sorry for being sacrilegious) my bible. It's called Dateable: Are You? Are They? by Justin Lookadoo and Hayley DiMarco. This book is all about finding ways to understand relationships and also not losing yourself in the process. It teaches us how to date and refrain from falling too fast into a relationship and cascading into a whirlwind of trouble until eventually we look up and can't remember how things moved this far, this fast. (Plus, it has pictures and doodles all over it.) Here's a picture. c:


In the preface, it explains passion. I've always associated "passion" with "sex" and "hot and heavy," and it is, but not entirely. It's also the fire that fuels all of us. All the things that mean something to us, that we think have value, we have a passion for. Dateable says that we often focus our passion on someone else in the form of a dating relationship. Here's the deal: the relationship will always end. Why would you want to put your heart and soul and body and experience into something that may fizzle from existence within a few months, or even less? Because we get caught up in the moment and the heady feel that this person could be "the one." Here's a tip: we will not find "the one" easily. If this person was made for you then trust me, they're going to be hard to find. That's just how the world works. Nothing of value to us comes easily. We have to feel the length of our emotional spectrum sufficiently to appreciate this ideal person.

I've recently learned about the philosophic teaching, Epicureanism. Yeah I know, I can't say it either. But it states that a) humans should follow their self-interests, b) happiness is life's goal, c) pursue the only true good, pleasure, and [wait for it...] d) pleasure is not satisfying physical appetites, but rather is the freedom from anxiety. I believe all of this. Maybe it's selfish, I don't know but I do know that, after being hurt so many times, being selfish seems to be the cure. Instead of living your life to please or attract someone with no guarantees that your efforts will be rewarded, live a life that makes you (and you alone) happy. But within reason. When you're happy, you're confident, and confidence is the most attractive quality in a girl. I'm serious, boys have even admitted that confidence is one of the sexiest things a girl can wear. So how do we get confident? We make ourselves happy. Once that happens, everything else comes easier.

Do you ever wake up feeling simply awful? Try this (keep in mind that you will need to do this all the time until you start to believe it): get dressed, put your makeup on, do your hair, whatever; and go find a mirror. Look at yourself and tell yourself how awesome you look that day. Say that your hair looks amazing and you did your makeup like a rockstar. You're taking the world by storm and it starts today.

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