Paparazzi, No Pictures Please

Picture it.
You're talking to this guy and he's being super cute and funny and you're smiling like crazy and totally enthralled by what he says popping up on your cell phone. And then he hits you with this one, I think you should send me a picture of you. Okay, that's harmless, right? Just a picture.

So you run to your bathroom, take twelve, then pick the one you think is the cutest; then lie to him and say that you had to take it really fast so it doesn't look that great, just so you can hear him say that you look adorable. You're keeping your fingers crossed and waiting for him to send that next text. And this is what you get, Cute. But that's not what I meant. Wait, what? I thought you said to send you a picture of me, so I did......oh. Now I get what you meant. And just like that, you're turned off and now it's sexual. This is so awesome.

For some of us, this isn't that bad. For others it is because we actually start to fall for the guy. It's not until right here that we realize that he's working us, trying to get whatever he can. He probably didn't mean a word he said. Some of us are in denial. So we try to play dumb and pray to God that he didn't mean it that way. Sorry ladies. He did. Now, for those of us that are in the first group about it "not being that bad" it's usually because (keep in mind, I said usually) either a) guys ask us this all the time and we're used to it or b) we're working the guy too and it's a friends with benefits kind of thing. That's cool, do what you want for you.

But if you're in one of those groups and want to make a change. Start here: don't put up with it. Now I'm not saying that you need to text scream every single cuss word you know without abbreviating anything (cuz you're definitely being serious when you leave out all the text-cuts). I'm saying, play coy. "oh that's what you wanted? I don't give those out easy. Looks like you're going to have to work for it ;)" There. Now you're being flirty and staying classy but limiting who those pictures go to. By saying this, you're cutting out all the guys that are too lazy to work for it. But this also means that every guy that is willing to work for it is serious about it, so he's going to stick around until he gets what he wants. This is when you play your game.

You call all the shots. This boy will do anything it takes for you to just send him that picture. He will yell at you, say every single mean thing he can think of. He'll beg you for it, he'll say that you're the only one he wants, he'll say that you're the only girl he's talking to you. -Cue warning lights- None of this is true. Boys will lie to you to get what they want. It's as simple as that. A boy cannot force you to send him anything. That part is all up to you. If you want to send it to him, that's fine. Just don't do it because you feel like you have to.

Think about this: how are you going to feel when you find out that this guy did the same thing to your friend, or your sister, or that girl in your Geometry class that you hate? Because that's exactly what's going to happen and he won't expect you to ever find out. Do what makes you happy and what won't tear you apart in the end. It's your life and you control it. Not him.

For all of us that have already sent pictures to a guy and regret it: it's okay. I know how you feel. We caved under his pressure and got burned. What do you do? You get back up again and put everything you've got into making a change. You don't want to ever feel that way again? Okay then, make it so that you don't. Don't send to another boy ever. If a boy starts telling you that you're absolutely fabulous and you're just so great, ignore it. He doesn't mean it. He'll do whatever it takes. Then, when you keep saying no, he's going to get incredibly insulting and he's going to say such degrading things that it will probably make you cry at one point. So you tell him to shut the hell up and get a life. Then walk away. Or stop texting him. You've got to make the change; he won't do it for you.

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